Monday, November 29, 2010

It's too late,,,

that day, I hope the time to circle back to the time when he was still there, so I have enough time to say that I loved him. far in the bottom of my heart, I regret it. I just realized why when he's gone and not coming back again.
Him, someone who never loved me, never noticed me, which I always think is a problem, I love him. That man, my grandfather.
when I saw that face motionless, the body which has chilled, no heartbeat, I felt very guilty. lung disease had damaged his body. create a body that was once very strong to be a man who just to walk alone should help by others then just slept on the bed, can't move, even talk.
I have never come to him and say how much I loved him. when I was a child, I always hoped he turn to me, smile and said, "come here, come play with grandpa", but he never did. how unfair he was. even until the last day I met him too, I turned my face from him. I never knew, it was the last day I met him, and my last words to him was, "happy new year, kung", then I left him. see, how rebellious I was on him. what kind of grandchildren am I? I really never know that was the last time I saw him..
he's probably a strange man, likes to scold other people, and always on his own wishes, but he is my grandfather. without him, there would be no me. if it's not him, my father wasn't going to be people who like it now. and I would never appreciate what it is today.
I just continued to regret, in all my days, if I never have time to say to him, "kung tau ga, Via sayang banget sama kung-kung" and embrace him wholeheartedly. 
I really regret it.

Monday, November 15, 2010

I have a little part of each of my friends...



yahh .... any given moment, I feel like my friends.

though sometimes I was annoyed with their attitude, I found myself also have one of their attitude. like today, I feel like Angel, who still can smile when her heart wounded, was still able to laugh even though her heart hurt.

sometimes I feel like the rest. that is why now, I do not want to insult them or judge them, because I know, there are things in me the same with them. are not judgmental.hahahaa.
I remember one part of the movie series Sex and the City, there are parts where Samantha felt there is little Charlotte within her and so did charlotte, she felt there was little samantha in her. That's true friend. hahahhaa. although sometimes there are parts where we feel annoyed at our friends, but they will be with us in life, not the people we do not know. they are friends.


di foto ini kurang Adeline, Claudia, Trish dan Shan2...
I hope we have pictures where we're all in it.

love u all, guys....:*

Sunday, November 14, 2010

pengampunan....

pengen banget mesoi orang... untungnya udah janji buat ga meso2 lagi.. tapi beneran, susah bangett... Tuhan, bantu via lewati smua ini.. via sudah hampir sampai di batas kesabaran dan batas "menghormati" org lain..
aku sabar, selalu sabar.. itulah kenapa aku MENANG ats kemarahanku padamu, MENANG atas kata egois, dan MENANG atas kamu. kamu benar2 KALAH TELAK!! aku berdoa pada Tuhan, semoga perbuatan2mu padaku di ampuni, karena aku MENGAMPUNI kamu dengan sepenuh hati.. sungguh...

dan terima kasih, kamu sudah susah2 meluangkan waktu buat baca blog-ku setiap hari hanya untuk tau, apa yang aku tulis.
satu hal lagi, terima kasih karena lewat kamu, Tuhan melatih aku untuk lebih sabar lagi. 
aku tau kamu marah karena aku meninggalkan kamu. kamu marah karena aku terkesan mengkhianati kamu. tapi tidak, sungguh. aku hanya bosan dengan rutinitas setiap hari dan kekangan dari mu yang sangat sangat sangat membebani hidupku yang sudah sangat berat dengan berbagai tekanan ini. aku harap kamu mengerti. tidak apa-apa kalau kamu mau memaki ku seperti apapun, makilah sampai kamu puas, karena satu hal, setiap kata makian itu tidak akan mempengaruhi aku, ingat, aku bukan orang tak beragama yang tidak percaya kuasa Tuhan. setiap perkataan jahatmu tidak akan berlaku. apapun yang kamu lakukan, sesakit apapun hatiku karena kata-katamu, 
aku memaafkan kamu.
sungguh...

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Taeyang - look Only at Me...



Uh...
It's been on my mind for a while
Got to get this of chest
Before... it's too late

(I can't let you go
You got to let him go
I can't let you go
You got to... listen)
Haruedo myeot beonssik neol bomyeo useo nan
Su baek beon malhaetjanha you're the love of my life
Geojitdoen sesang sok buranhan nae mamsok
Ojik na mitneun geon neo hana ppunirago
Gakkeum nae mam byeonhalkka bwa buranhaehal ttaemyeon
Useumyeo malhaetjanha geureol il eopdago
Kkeuteomneun banghwang sok teong bin nae gaseumsok
Naega gidael goseun neo hanappun ijiman
Gakkeumssik heundeullineun nae jasini miwo
Oneuldo nan isesange hwipsseullyeo salmyeosi neol jiwo

Naega baram pyeodo neoneun jeoldae pijima baby
Naneun neoreul ijeodo neon nareul itjima lady
Gakkeum naega yeollagi eopgo sureul masyeodo
Hoksi naega dareun eotteon yeojawa
Jamsi nuneul matchwodo neon naman barabwa

Oneulbamdo jisaemyeo nal gidaryeotdago
Nunmullo naege malhae byeonhan geot gatdago
Neol hyanghan nae mamdo cheoeumgwa gatdago
Sueobsi dallaemyeo jinaeon manheun bamdeul
Niga eobsineun nan neomu himdeul geot gatjiman
Ttaeron neoro inhae sumi makhyeo nan
Kkeuteomneun datum sok ginagin hansum sok
Niga gidael goseun na hanappun ijiman

Niga gwichanhajineun nae jasini miwo
Oneuldo nan useumyeo nado mollae jasineul irheo

Naega baram pyeodo neoneun jeoldae pijima baby
Naneun neoreul ijeodo neon nareul itjima lady
Gakkeum naega yeollagi eopgo sureul masyeodo
Hoksi naega dareun eotteon yeojawa
Jamsi nuneul matchwodo neon naman barabwa

Naega igijeogiran geol nan neomu jal ara
Nan maeil muuimihan sigan soge
Ireoke deoreophyeojijiman baby
Neomaneun eonjena sunsuhage namgil barae
Ige nae jinsimingeol neol hyanghan mideumingeol
Jugeodo nal tteonajima

Naega baram pyeodo neoneun jeoldae pijima baby
Naneun neoreul ijeodo neon nareul itjima lady
Gakkeum naega yeollagi eopgo sureul masyeodo
Hoksi naega dareun eotteon yeojawa
Jamsi nuneul matchwodo neon naman barabwa

meanings:
UH...
IT'S BEEN ON MY MIND FOR A WHILE
GOT TO LET THIS OFF MY CHEST
BEFORE...IT'S TOO LATE

(I CAN'T LET YOU GO
YOU GOT TO LET HIM GO
I CAN'T LET YOU GO
YOU GOT TO...LISTEN)

I’ve been telling you everyday
I smile when I see you.
I’ve told you so many times
You’re the love of my life.
In this world full of lies, in my nervous heart
the one thing I believe in is you.
When you get nervous thinking that my feelings may change
Remember I laughed when I told you that would never happen.
A direction with no end,
my completely empty heart
The only place I can lean on is you.
And I hate that my heart sometimes wavers
Even today I get carried away by the world
and you get erased

Even if I cheat
Don’t you ever cheat, Baby
Even if I forget you
Don’t you ever forget me, Lady
If once in a while I don’t contact you
and I go out to drink
Even if I ever meet another girl’s gaze
Look only at me.

When you tell me with tears in your eyes
that you spent all night waiting up for me
you say “I think you changed.”
So many nights you ask me to tell you
that my feeling are the same as when I first met you.
Although it seems that I am miserable without you
Honestly sometimes you suffocate me
The never ending arguments
The long sighs.
Although the only place for you to lean is on me
I hate that sometimes I get sick of you
Even today I smile
and lose myself without my knowledge

Even if I cheat
Don’t you ever cheat, Baby
Even if I forget you
Don’t you ever forget me, Lady
If once in a while I don’t contact you
and I go out to drink
Even if I ever meet another girl’s gaze
Look only at me.

I know well that I’m self-centered
And I spend my days in meaningless activities
Becoming filthier, baby.
I want to leave your purity as it is,
this is my sincerity, my belief in you
Don’t leave me even in death

Even if I cheat
Don’t you ever cheat, Baby
Even if I forget you
Don’t you ever forget me, Lady
If once in a while I don’t contact you
and I go out to drink
Even if I ever meet another girl’s gaze
Look only at me.

Even if i die, i can't let you go

Regardless of the age, it all hurts the same
Regardless of how young you are, we all know and feel pain

Why did you lie that everything will be ok?
The broken heart doesn't get repaired easily
How will I live without you, so...

Even if I die, I can't let you go
How could I let you go if you're planning to leave
Then fix my heart so I can at least live on painlessly
If you can't, then since I wouldn't be able to live
I can't let you go even if I die

No matter how much you push me away, I will hold on to you till the end
So you won't be able to go anywhere

If you are really leaving, then lie
Let's meet tomorrow and meet with a smile
Then say that you were joking about breaking up if not then...

Even if I die, I can't let you go
How could I let you go if you're planning to leave
Then fix my heart so I can at least live on painlessly
If you can't, then since I wouldn't be able to live
I can't let you go even if I die

We spent so much time together
But how could I live alone now?
I can't do that, I can't

Even if I die, I can't let you go, I really can't let you go
If you're planning to leave, then fix my heart
so I can at least live on painlessly
If you can't, then since I wouldn't be able to live
I can't let you go even if I die

Friday, November 5, 2010

Life's a drama or A drama is the mirror of life?

kadang, kita menonton film drama di televisi, apa yang berada dalam pikiran kita? apakah drama ini benar2 terjadi pada kehidupan nyata? yah , kadang cerita drama yang kita nonton adalah cerita yang di ambil dari kehidapan nyata, namun sebagian besar merupakan karangan dari para penulis yang dengan imajinasi mereka dapat membuat cerita yang begitu sadis atau setidaknya berisi penganiayaan terhadap orang lain atau kejahatan yang lumrah telah terjadi di masyarakat sekarang ini. wahh, susah juga yaa.. sebenarnya, menurut saya, film tu juga bisa menjadi contoh bagi penganiayaan yang sekarang banyak banget terjadi. jadi si pelaku tu merasa seperti artis aja bisa menganiaya orang, dan contohnya tu dia ambil dari televisi. wahh, orang indonesia apalagi. suka banget tuh nonton sinetron yang isinya kekerasan dalam rumah tangga, akhirnya jadi ikut2an sadis kyak si pelaku di dalam film. waduhh, jangan di tiru donk.. susah kalo di tiru. hahahahaa...
tentang life's a drama, yah, banyak orang yang menjalankan hidupnya seperti drama televisi. di atur sebagaimana rupa sehingga betul2 keliatan kayak drama. ada juga orang bilang, hidup itu drama karena kita bisa mengatur sendiri jalan hidup kita seperti apa, nah lo?? kalo menurut ku sih, drama tu cermin dari kehidupan manusia jaman sekarang, tapi belum tentu yah yang di sinetron tu benar, biasanya cuma lebay2annya si produser aja, biar yang nonton jadi pengen nonton trus.... hahahahahaaaa.........
jadi, bagaimanapun, drama ya cuma drama, buatan manusia, tapi HIDUP, itu buatan Tuhan, ga ada yang bisa buat, selain Tuhan. jalan hidup kita udah di siapkan sama Dia yang di atas, setiap jalan sudah Ia sediakan, hanya bagaimana kita memilih jalan yang paling tepat aja. Be wise. ya walaupun untuk menjadi bijaksana, seseorang harus melalui banyak sekali rintangan untuk mencapai kata Bijak tersebut. itulah, semakin banyak rintangan yang bisa di lewati dengan baik, bahkan luar biasa, semakin bijaksanalah orang itu. karena bijaksana di latih dari rintangan2 itu... tapi, jangan salah, saat kamu minta untuk menjadi bijaksana, Tuhan ga akan langsung memberi bijaksana itu dengan instan, tapi dengan caraNya sendiri. Ia punya caraNya sendiri untuk memberikan kebijaksanaan itu pada setiap kita. dan setiap kita ga sama. itulah kenapa Ia bilang setiap manusia itu unik dan luar biasa. baca baik2, Tuhan bilang kita LUAR BIASA, jadi jangan kecewakan Dia.
satu hal, teman.....Tuhan tu sayaaaanngg banget sama kita. jangan salahkan Dia atas setiap kesalahan yang terjadi dalam hidupMu, tapi bersyukurlah, karena kalau tidak ada kesalahan itu, kamu tidak akan belajar sesuatu. dan hidupmu hanya akan monoton, hidup senang terus itu tidak akan memberikan pelajaran baru buatmu. tapi kesal, sakit hati, marah, dll. itu mengajarkanmu untuk menjadi lebih baik lagi dan menghindari hal yang sama agar tidak terjadi untuk kedua kalinya lagi.
ok teman2?? udah dulu, kesel ngetiknya....
God Bless You.. Jesus Love you....<3

me and my bad habits...

when I woke up this morning, I looked around my room. of course, looks very messy with dirty T-shirts and jeans everywhere. plus the garbage that piled up in the trash in the corner. this is my bad habit, lazy to clean up the room. sometimes, when I my diligent, I cleaned everything, but, of course, it rarely happens. hahahaha.
It was just one of many of my bad habits. The other one is I don't want to sleep before 1 am and of course I can't wake up again at 7 am to go to college half an hour later. I always arrived at class 10 minutes after class started, and of course, my professor never complained, because almost all students like it.
sometimes I feel uncomfortable with my bad habits, but well, what could I do, it is ingrained.but I will change. someday when I already own, I will change the habit. of course. I promise.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Separating Twice

Separating Twice 
Now I can finally you go
Even though it was a long separation but now I have to try hard just to bring up your face
It's ok if I'm not sorry because you would've already forgotten me
I know I'm the only one that is like this..

Separating for the second time, the pain that I've only made alone
This time I will leave, just like how you left me first when we broke up
Even after we broke up, I couldn't forget you, but this is as far as my foolish self will go
I hope if we meet accidently, you will just pass by and ignore me
Ignoring me will be such a easy thing for you to do..

Please go far away, that I won't be able to find you
If I see you, I would forget that we broke up and I'll pretend that I don't know you as well
I don't know you either..

A Note to God

If I wrote a note to God, I would speak whats in my soul
I'd ask for all the hate to be swept away, For love to overflow
If I wrote a note to God, I'd pour my heart out on each page
I'd ask for war to end For peace to mend this world
I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through, Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue, Need some help from youGrant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone, Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God, I would say what on my mind
I'd ask for wisdom to let compassion rule this world Until these times
If I wrote a note to God, I'd say please help us find our way
End all the bitterness, put some tenderness in our hearts
And I'd say, I'd say, I'd say

Give us the strength to make it through, Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue
Need some help from you, Grant us the faith to carry on
Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong, On this road we're on 
No, no no no, We can't do this on our own, So

Give us the strength to make it through, Help us find love cause love is over due
And it looks like we haven't got a clue, Need some help from you
Grant us the faith to carry on, Give us hope when it seems all hope is gone
Cause it seems like so much is goin wrong On this road we're on

If I wrote a note to God

Monday, November 1, 2010

Surabaya, the City of Heroes...

This morning I had to get up early in the morning at 6 to prepare for the event Heroic Trail, yeah, visiting historic sites in Surabaya. where the struggle of the hero to bring Indonesia's independence has never fallen, though they must sacrifice their lives. and of course, their efforts have never in vain. Indonesia has been independent now. in his age who has 65 years, Indonesia has been moving forward. all of it thanks to the heroes who really love their nation.

These days we visited many places, including the monument of heroes, the home of a former fighter, HOS Cokroaminoto, and the red bridge. where there are moments of bloody, territorial disputes of allies, and war. well, there is a mystical place, where we were banned out dirty words and being nice.well, but from all that, the place-tenpat is very interesting to visit.


FYI, the city of Surabaya has been 717 years old on 31 May 2010. surabaya city is of course a very old city, with many historic buildings that are hundreds of years. and every year, majoring in tourism Petra held visiting historic places in Surabaya, which are regulated by the students of tourism itsel