that day, I hope the time to circle back to the time when he was still there, so I have enough time to say that I loved him. far in the bottom of my heart, I regret it. I just realized why when he's gone and not coming back again.
Him, someone who never loved me, never noticed me, which I always think is a problem, I love him. That man, my grandfather.
when I saw that face motionless, the body which has chilled, no heartbeat, I felt very guilty. lung disease had damaged his body. create a body that was once very strong to be a man who just to walk alone should help by others then just slept on the bed, can't move, even talk.
I have never come to him and say how much I loved him. when I was a child, I always hoped he turn to me, smile and said, "come here, come play with grandpa", but he never did. how unfair he was. even until the last day I met him too, I turned my face from him. I never knew, it was the last day I met him, and my last words to him was, "happy new year, kung", then I left him. see, how rebellious I was on him. what kind of grandchildren am I? I really never know that was the last time I saw him..
he's probably a strange man, likes to scold other people, and always on his own wishes, but he is my grandfather. without him, there would be no me. if it's not him, my father wasn't going to be people who like it now. and I would never appreciate what it is today.
I just continued to regret, in all my days, if I never have time to say to him, "kung tau ga, Via sayang banget sama kung-kung" and embrace him wholeheartedly.
I really regret it.
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